Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:5-11
I will admit, this post is more for myself. I've been really struggling these past few weeks with depression. As I've been looking for scripture for the Prayer Service, I found this gem. This really resonated with what I am going through, mind you not the enemies coming for my life, but the feeling overwhelmed. I am currently struggling with my depression. I can really resonate with my soul being downcasted. The Psalmist reminds himself of God's goodness in the past, and the overwhelming love He gives. Day and night, God never stops loving him through his pain and agony.
This is the message I needed to hear. It's okay if I'm not okay. I am going to hurt. In fact, I'm hurting a lot these days. Some days I feel like I have no one to talk to about what I am feeling. I think people will never want to speak to me again if they knew. But there's a God bigger than my pain, who's bigger than my cries. There's a God that will take my cries and my hurts onto Himself. Someone who will let me rest in His presence, who will carry me through my storm. There's a God that will never stop loving me, no matter what. That's the God I serve.
My Precious Father,
Thank you. Thank you that You never stop loving me. There is nothing I can do to ever earn Your love, but even better than that, I can never lose that love. Thank you that You still love me when I am angry, when I am bitter, and when I am blaming You for my endeavors. I'm sorry I didn't realize until now that I cannot lose Your love. You're not a malicious, disappointed God. You're a loving, caring, merciful Father. You celebrate my small steps, and carry me when I don't have the energy to walk. Thank you for being my best friend when I didn't have any friends. Thank you for loving me when I didn't love myself and didn't think anyone else loved me either.
Carry me through this time. I will worship You through my storms, God. You've loved me through me turning my back on you, through my Eygpt, and every future step I take. Thank you. I love you.
Amen